Jymi Cliche' is a queer, trans, intersex, artist and writer from the Boston area. He is Bipolar and has Complex PTSD . He writes from his experiences with that. His art is the raw emotion that comes out of him, often telling prophetic visions of the future or at least uncovering what's in his soul. He raps and writes spoken word poetry, has art hanging all around the world, and takes photos of his own personal universe.
I was planning to do some more writing for my re-write of “The Godchild” but I ended up being kind of lazy, talking to my boyfriend and some friends on Facebook. I was gonna make more stickers too, and I may later. I did manage to cook dinner and took out the trash without getting mauled by a coyote or bobcat even though they’re all over town and there’s definitely something living out by my dumpster. I feel like I’m in “12 Monkey’s”, in more ways than just that, but that too. If you don’t know “12 Monkey’s” I’m referring to the Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt Sci-Fi/Mind-Fuck film from the 90’s. I highly recommend it and Sci-Fi isn’t my favorite genre…Mind-Fuck, on the other hand, kind of is.
I wasn’t eaten by any animals though and I definitely got a few things done, but I’m thinking of spending the night watching “Stand By Me”. A number of my friends have mentioned it lately and it got me thinking about how when I was a kid, I related to the main character and how he was a writer. I saw his adult character and thought “That’s gonna be me some day, writing about my adventures as a kid!” and then recently while writing “I Write the System”, my autobiography that focuses on my childhood and teen years, there were moments I thought to myself “I’m just like the guy in ‘Stand By Me’ now!” and so I think I wanna give it a watch. It’s been many, many years since I’ve seen it and it’s a brilliant film. Not only that, I’m reading “On Writing” by Stephen King right now.
These are the stickers I made the other night and hope to make more of…
and here are the ones I sold recently. My friend Shawn got the package and took the photo…
I got an email today saying the pack of 250 stickers I bought with my logo have been shipped. I hope I like them.
My friend Janina took this picture of her cat sitting on my books…
I’m ahead of schedule with my re-write of “The Godchild” and putting my press kits together for “I Write the System”, so I’ve even started putting some thought into how I’m gonna go about the fiction book I’m planning to write. I’m excited to attempt something kind of new.
I made this for dinner tonight…
I got some Bubba Kush the other day which is an old favorite Indica strain I used to get on the street from time to time. If they said it was Bubba Kush or OG Kush or Sour Diesel, or Pineapple or whatever; basically if it had a name, that was usually good news that it wasn’t mids. It’s 100% Indica though, so that’s fairly intense to begin with, and then I recently found this hookah-like pipe for super cheap and I love smoking from this kind of thing but if I put too much in the bowl, which is fucking huge, it gets me more high than I’m generally used to these days. But I wasn’t nearly as high as my neighbors who were out in the parking lot taking bong rips and coughing their lungs out, although I could tell by the way he was talking that he also either just shot up or drank an obscene amount of alcohol, because weed doesn’t fuck you up like that.
I’ve had a busy week with lots of appointments and working hours a day on the book, plus I went through my friend list which only had 350 friends when I released “The Godchild” and I now have 1100 friends as of the past year. I tried to pick out the people I feel like I’ve got to know best, especially if they’re trans or non-binary or artists or whatever, and I wrote down all the names of people I felt like I’d feel comfortable messaging to ask for their mailing address. I found about 65 people. I had about 100 addresses from before, but I’m not gonna send to half of them who showed no interest the first time, yet the other half would likely buy another book… a least maybe half of them anyway, plus I will hopefully have about 65 new people to send to who haven’t read my other stuff but might read the new book if I ask them to. It seems like I have a decent chance of doing as well, if not hopefully better than the first time around. I have a few tricks up my sleeve this time and new things I’ve learned. I’m gonna give it my best shot.
I got my proofs for the stickers I ordered. They’re gonna have this design on them…
I should’ve ordered the next size up for an extra $10 because they’re not actually as big as the full sticker due to the dimensions. I can’t tell how high quality they’re gonna be either, but they’re only a couple inches wide… Still, they’re kind of cool and should get the job done for far less money than the other sticker places I looked into.
I also got my printer working. I had a pretty good start to my day but got some news that worried me with someone I love in the hospital and there was nothing I could do about it. I thought I’d try to make myself feel better by putting together the new ink and getting the printer going again, but it wouldn’t accept my new ink because the old ink wasn’t done, but the old ink was dry and not printing after a year of not using it. Of course that sent me into an extreme panic state because I was already upset about the person I love being in the ER and thought fixing the printer would make me feel better, but of course instead made me feel worse when it didn’t work. I had to work hard to calm myself down. I felt like I wouldn’t feel better until I fixed the printer, but I didn’t think I’d be able to, so I was buggin’.
I googled how to fix it but the info I got was for another printer model that didn’t apply, but it mentioned trying to unclog the passageway in the old ink cartridge where the ink came out, and so I did that with my finger and it worked, but now I’m covered in ink.
I printed one copy of my press release and realized I wanna change it from third person to first person POV. I wrote it in 3rd person as that’s something I’ve been taught to do for artist statements as well as the occasional agent I send a query will ask for my bio to be in 3rd person, so I thought the press release maybe should be, but after reading it, I decided to put it in first. As far as the person I’m worried about, they’re okay from what I can tell and being cared for, so hopefully everything will be okay.
I spent tonight kind of taking it easy. I had to make three trips downstairs after several days of rain and pain and I decided to put off my laundry because I could tell it would be too much for me. I still have a few clean things left and don’t have anywhere I really need to be.
I talked to my new worker today and there’s a possibility I may meet her next week, but I’m not sure yet. I need someone to deliver my meds and so I figured I’d see if she wanted to do so on the day we’re supposed to talk next.
I spent a lot of time going through my Facebook friends list tonight… Now that I have 1100 friends it’s a lot to go through them all, but I did, and I wrote down all the names of people I’ve met in the last year who I’ve either become good friends with or at least talked to a few times and feel like I can set them apart from the others in some way… and also, only if I think they’ll like the book. I found about 65 people that I’m gonna reach out to and ask for their mailing address to send free stickers, my business card, and 1 page about my upcoming book. I also already have about 100 addresses from when I sent out press kits for The Godchild, but I went through that list and eliminated people who showed no interest last time, and cut the list down to about 42 people from before, so I have just over 100 people again, and a lot of these people are better candidates for taking an interest in the subject matter, so hopefully it’ll all be worth the time and effort again. I’ve already printed 20 copies. All I have to buy now is a couple sheets of stamps and then I need to make stickers too. I think I’m gonna make a few tonight before bed.
Here’s a song from the record I listened to tonight, “Dead Serious” by Das Efx from 1992. This is “They Want EFX”
It is FUCKING FREEZING! Can’t believe this was me just a couple days ago in 90 degree weather…
Today I am in layered shirts and sweat-pant shorts and I took like 12 hot baths cuz I am so damn cold and my body aches!
I saw my parents early in my day, got my printer working with my dad’s help, but need new ink, filled out 20 pages of paperwork to prove I’m still disabled, got Panera for dinner, and started working on re-writing the first 1/3 of “The Godchild”. Everyone who read past the first 1/3 agreed that most of the book was exciting, easy to read, and hard to put down, but a lot of people put it down a lot or completely before they got that far and that needs fixing. It’s not just other’s opinions either. While it is not entirely boring, it goes on a little too long with no direction. I am going to fix it up and make it better and am hoping for a re-release next Easter if I can get it done in time. Obviously I have a lot of other projects right now, the other of which I got to being that I got some professional stickers designed and ordered. I’m really praying they come out good because stickers are expensive but what would normally cost $500 on the majority of the sticker sites I found, I was able to find a deal for $70 on because I’d be buying them in bulk. It was a lot to spend, but I probably spent that much or more on the random fun sticker packs I bought last year alone. Last year I put 5 or 6 fun random stickers, one original sticker, one of my old business cards, and 2 or 3 prints, plus 8 pages of writing in each press release for The Godchild which meant it took 2 stamps per person and I think the prints were a couple bucks each. I will NOT be spending that much this time. I got 250 new business cards with my new web site made for $20 and 250 professional logo stickers for $70, I have to buy new ink for the printer, and then I gotta buy a couple books of stamps since I have several already, and that’ll be that. I’m pretty sure I have plenty of blank stickers so that I won’t have to buy more of those, but I’m gonna give everyone one professional logo sticker, one original one of a kind hand drawn sticker, a new business card, and 1 page about the new book. It will get the job done for far less but I really loved sending out all those stickers and prints to friends last year. Maybe it helped make up for the fact that I haven’t sent holiday cards out since I was like 21.
Here’s a couple random pictures from my bed as I go to bed in the early morning…That Bob Dylan poster is an OG copy from the 70’s and the Prince is an OG 80’s poster.
I guess it’s time I head to bed myself…
Here is a video… it’s not a song, but a Jim Henson video from his early collection pre-Sesame Street and Muppets I think, that helped me understand music better…
I’ve been busy with a number of things this week. I had the art show Saturday, an appointment with Nikki Sunday, I think I cooked and cleaned Monday, the nurse came Tuesday and I had a friend stop by that night, I had a call with Nikki Wednesday, and yesterday I had a zoom with the nutritionist. Tomorrow I have Jen coming by for what I think is my last appointment with her, and then I was supposed to go up to see my parents this weekend, but it looks like that’s not gonna happen due to the weather, but they might be coming to see me, and then I’ll see Nikki again Sunday, yadda yadda. Time just keeps flying by. I made these stickers a couple nights ago and offered 6 for $10 and a new friend ordered a pack. I made a few more that I didn’t take pictures of and am sending them out later today.
Today is my boyfriend’s birthday, and we talked more of our plans when he comes to visit in July. I’m looking forward to that. I had fun with my friend the other night too. He is an artist I know who I relate to a lot and had a great time hanging out with him. There is also someone in my neighborhood I’ve been meaning to see again too. There are a number of new people in my life I’d like to maybe see now that we can hang out with people but I also don’t wanna do it so early on with the restrictions.
He brought these cool beers and we just hung out talking, which I need. It helped lift my mood a lot to have the social time with him and the event Saturday.
I’ve been busy with all sorts of projects, including the fact that despite the fact that I keep saying I finished my new cover, I keep changing things.
That’s a photo of it on my computer screen. It won’t be blurry like that, and I have to center it better and possibly change the font, but I think that’s what it’s more or less gonna look like.
I finished my 8th edit of that same book and it’s shaping out nicely. I’m getting ready to start writing a one page description of the book to send out as a press release with stickers and business cards. They won’t be as big of packets as I did for The Godchild… no 8 pages of reviews and quotes, probably no prints, and then I’ll do one original sticker and I’ll possibly buy cool random fun stickers in bulk, or if I can get professional stickers of my logo made in bulk for fairly cheap, I may do that instead.
I’ve realized I probably won’t get around to my next book for a couple years. I wanna redo and re-release the first Godchild book first, and I’ve actually been going through that and taking notes on what to keep, what to purge, and what important things I need to keep in the story from the stuff I purge. I plan to completely redo the beginning. There’s so much unnecessary shit and so much important shit I somehow managed to leave out completely, so I’ll give the first 1/3 of the book a complete makeover.
Here’s me and Moo. Aren’t we cute?
Don’t mind my ADD. I’m listening to jazz right now but I did a couple new hip hop videos for tiktok. The link is through Instagram though since that’s where I have more followers. I’m trying to get ready for the upcoming open mic.
If you are from Boston, you know that gentrification has closed down most of the art and music spaces in Boston even before the pandemic and almost nothing remains here for us now except for a few places including Out Of the Blue Gallery/ Parma Chai Gallery, which moved into The Armory in Somerville right around the beginning of the pandemic, and they’ve spent the year fixing up an ancient building that is an actual armory and small castle from the Revolutionary war. It’d been run down for decades and wasn’t until Out Of the Blue Gallery moved in there last year that it turned into such a remarkable, gorgeous gallery that is sure to add hugely to the Boston art culture once people get back into going out again. Out Of the Blue Gallery is accessible to real artists who may not have had the privilege of being born rich or going to art school, or even knowing the right people. The gallery took in starving artists for decades in its previous locations, and that is where I, a transgender, non-binary artist with Complex PTSD and Bipolar Disorder who spent 20 years in and out of psych wards and then ten more years in abusive relationships, managed to turn my life around. The gallery is extremely diverse, from the owner to every one of the artists, yet the fancy, rich, and mostly straight and white Somerville art people seem to be attempting to buy it out under us for themselves, in the name of “saving art”. I am not an expert on the subject, so you may wanna read about it in The Herald or follow the gallery on Facebook…
In other, related news, Out Of the Blue held a small, private showing of my May photography exhibit on Saturday and it was a lot of fun. A few close friends came and hung out in the new performance space they are in the middle of fixing up and preparing to hold events with live music again. Here are some of the pictures I took…
sometimes the masks end up upside downThe Armory, Somerville MA
Here is some info on my show, which is going on through June. It’s called “Falling Apart, Breaking, And Putting Myself Back Together Through Art”. The Armory is open to the public Monday-Saturday 9-6 and they even have a cafe in the building.
For music this time, I’ll put up a video that was taken at the Armory this past year, inside Out Of the Blue Gallery, of me rapping over Parma Chai. It was completely improvised and I’m still sort of a beginner, so there were parts that sound better than others, but it was pretty awesome and I’m hoping there will be more to come.
My last post was about haters on the internet and whether it even makes sense to ask strangers their opinions on art or writing. It was stemmed from some hate I got about my book cover the other day. A bunch of people said they wouldn’t even pick up my book because the cover was “too busy”, “unprofessional”, and one person said they wouldn’t know what the book is about by looking at it (as if any book cover can really do that)… but it was eating at me because so many people emphasize that the cover is the first thing people see. If I get a professional publisher, I may not even be able to use it, but it’s looking more and more like self publishing is the most likely thing to happen, and I can live with that, but I don’t wanna scare people away with an unprofessional cover, yet I also felt my cover was nearly perfect for my book… maybe not perfect graphic design, but it felt right to me. It was what I envisioned… So… with the help of the basic Paint program, I added a few lines here and there and I think it’s better. Here is what I plan to go with…
Here is what it looked like before.
So, I just made a few adjustments, but I think it’s better.
I’m heading to bed because I already took my night meds, so I can’t do a full post about my show at The Armory yesterday, but I will when I wake up.
Here’s my new business cards though….
And here’s a song I wanted to share that I fell in love with…
I’ve been getting a lot of shade from strangers on the internet as I put myself out there more, and especially when my stuff gets seen by many, which was the case with a comment I got today on my Tik Tok video. It got 18 likes and a number of compliments, which isn’t a ton, but often times I only get a few likes and views. This time tons of people saw it and I got some compliments, but I also got unsolicited advice from a stranger with 4 followers and no videos of their own. He said “You need to throw in better punch lines and think of better rhymes. The words shouldn’t all end in ‘ad'”
At first the negativity hit me hard and I felt like shit, but then realized I was being gas-lit and told the opposite of the truth by someone who was trying to invalidate my work. I’ve been editing my autobiography and there’s something in there about how when I was growing up, kids and teachers used to tell me I was stupid, ugly, fat, boring, and other stuff like that when the opposite was true. I am fat now, but for the first ten years that I was called fat, I was actually quite skinny. I was also very attractive, fairly smart, and extremely unique, even if I didn’t know how yet, but I believed I was fat, ugly, stupid, and boring because those comments were felt much stronger than any compliments I may have received. This dude on Tik Tok saying “all your words shouldn’t end in -ad” took something kind of unique I do on purpose and spun it like it sucked because he had no understanding of it. Yes, I often throw a bunch of similar sounding rhymes into a verse, but unlike the typical lyrics where each line ends in a rhyme, I throw them in throughout the line for a different kind of effect. It was also only a 1 minute clip of a three minute song, so it may seem excessive in that one part, but there were plenty of other rhymes that didn’t end in -ad.
“I gave all that I had/ and was made to feel bad/ for trying a fad/ and not being rad/ and of course there’s my dad/ but I’m not gonna get into that./ Some stuff’s not even in the past.”
That was the one line with all the words ending in -ad. It goes on from there…
“I’m trying to find my independence/I wear an anchor as a pendent/ I’m sending letters to the president/ It’s evident/ that America is doomed/ We can all sit in one room/ but with whom can you bloom?”
So yeah, this dude with 4 followers and no videos whose advice I did not ask, whether it was meant to be constructive or not, was BS by someone who’s likely just jealous.
Keep in mind, when I say someone is jealous of me, I don’t mean because I’m such a handsome, rich, successful, talented artist. I’m not sure I am any of those things… definitely not rich, and success is a matter of how you view it. In many ways I am successful, but the average person isn’t gonna see me that way. My art may be great, I can’t say for sure, but there are lots of people who still think Picasso and Basquiat’s art is trash, and they’re obviously big influences of mine. Hell, there are people who don’t like DaVinci, even with all his skill, I mean, I’m not even such a huge fan, although I do appreciate him, but The Mona Lisa is a bit underwhelming, in my opinion. Still, who the fuck am I to say it isn’t good? (and that’s not even what I’m saying, but many of these haters are.) And I may be okay looking, but I’m not exactly a hottie or whatever. Anyway, my point is that they may not be jealous of my art or my looks or talent, or any of that, but what they are jealous of is my bravery to put my own art out into the world… hell, the bravery to do art at all in the first place. To be able to say “I’m an artist. This is what I created”, and then not only that, but my art clearly exposes my heart and soul in a vulnerably honest way which one can’t help but feel. On top of that, I often say political things that piss off half the population. To bravely put out my opinions and my creations and bare my soul the way I do, I make it easy for haters to shit on me, and it’s hard, but I am brave. A few friends have reminded me of that lately, that bravery isn’t about not having fear or not being hurt by the comments meant to invalidate us, it’s about continuing to speak up and continuing to share our art, continuing to live each day the best we can when the world is trying its hardest to break us. I am one of the bravest people on the planet by that definition. You aren’t being brave if there’s nothing to be afraid of, which brings me to another story…
After talking about not letting the haters get me down, and not listening to advice by strangers who may know nothing about what they’re giving feedback on, and in fact, usually don’t, I saw a discussion in a writer’s group about Beta Readers, which are people who read your book for free or a small fee, and give you honest feedback. Many swear by them, but others say it’s a waste of money and time. I said I’ve thought about doing it, but usually people find these Beta Readers in writing groups and they’re complete strangers. What if my reader is prejudice to my topic? What if they don’t know anything about the topic? What if they don’t read that genre or they’re lacking empathy for people with mental illness or addictions? Why would I solicit the advice of one or two total strangers and take their word on my work when it could be great and just not meant for them? I got a reply right away from what appeared to be a straight, white, Boomer, cis man saying “You worry too much.” I ended up deleting my comment, and his in the process, which I now feel was weak of me, but I didn’t wanna get ganged up on with other replies. I reminded myself the same thing as before; that I’m being gas-lit by people trying to invalidate me. What the fuck does an older straight, cis, white man have to worry about when giving their book to someone to read? Unless he went through a horrible sexual trauma, survived a suicide attempt, spent years in the psych ward, is talking about true crimes or war crimes, or has problems with his dick, there is almost no topic a straight, cis, white man can really be considered brave for writing about. There may be a few other topics, I’m sure, and I’m not saying they can’t be brave for other reasons, but to “bravely” write about a topic, I think there are limits for straight, cis, white men. Most of what they write will be read by people who’ve grown up in a society where the straight, cis, white male perspective is the norm and not to be questioned the way people would question me for what I dared to share in my books. Being told I worry too much is invalidating of the many reasons I have to worry and he more than likely does not. For me to hand my life story to a complete stranger on the internet in 2021, and say “be totally honest and tell me everything you think needs work” would be setting myself up for possible disaster, inviting the wrong kind of person to unleash their hate on me after learning everything about me.
I was just trying to offer a perspective as to why I agreed with many who said it was a waste of time and money. I mean, unless I got someone who I know is not transphobic, is politically left, doesn’t hate people based on past mistakes, etc. My book isn’t for everyone, and I don’t even want the opinions of the average reader. It is hard for me to take criticism of any sort though, and sometimes it pisses me off at first and then pushes me to come back harder. That’s the only way to properly use criticism, but I find that if it comes from a stranger whose opinion was not asked for, and it invalidates what I already created in any way, I’m not gonna listen, regardless. I know I have more to learn, but it doesn’t mean that what I created so far is wrong or bad just because some random dude doesn’t like it.
Speaking of all this, part of me was glad to hear the woman next door singing today. She didn’t sing yesterday and I was worried I made her feel like she couldn’t sing, ever, but she sang today for a shorter time and with her windows closed. I could still hear, but she only did it for a few minutes. I would be okay with this. I’m not someone who has no empathy. I’m a musician myself and sometimes it can be a little loud. I’ve also completely blasted my music late at night and had the cops called on me many years ago, but I’m mindful now of the volume and when I practice, it’s just for about 15 minutes a day every few days…. of course I know I need more practice than that, but 1. I have a million other projects, and 2. I sacrifice it sometimes for the sake of my neighbors, and this woman has spent the last 3 years, including the entire pandemic, making high pitched opera sounds that are like nails on a chalkboard for five hours a day sometimes, every fucking day while standing on her porch with windows open, just a few feet from all our windows on this side of the building. It’s been terrible and needed to be stopped at almost any cost, but I was a little relieved to hear her sing again, as well as the fact that she was more mindful about it this time…but I was glad I didn’t break her spirit completely. She is brave and continuing on.
Here is a picture of a graffiti sticker I bravely stuck over some racist graffiti I found last month. I was happily surprised to find it still there…
Today was a struggle and I don’t remember much of what I did yesterday except that I probably did a million things. I’ve been pretty busy and that’s basically been good for me but the lady next door who sings opera noises every day was going on for five hours, and it was piercing my ears and driving me mad because it woke me up and I couldn’t sleep. I got out of bed and immediately checked my email and social media to find a lot of junk mail, no news from any agents, and a reply to a post I made about my book and book cover in an author’s group in which I didn’t ask for opinions, but someone said “You’ll get more clicks with a professional cover.” I felt shot down, and started to doubt my cover, which does have a few flaws. When I shared it on my page last week, some of my friends said they loved it, including some who I know would buy the book regardless of the cover, and they are my friends, so were they to be trusted to be honest? Some part of me thought they were, because I decided to post my cover in a memoir group and a group for trans men over 40 and asked them if they’d be interested in a book with this cover, and right away, two people in each group said no. One said it was unprofessional, two said it was too busy, and one person said no, because he wouldn’t know what the book was about from the cover; as if any book cover really explains a story! I felt shot down and immediately took down my post in both groups because the opera woman was still shrieking and I wasn’t in the mood for any more negative comments. My cat came up on the couch next to me and started crying non-stop. I shoved her off the couch and my rage was growing as the opera woman had been practicing since noon and it was after five. The noises kept getting worse and worse, and I could see her in the house right next to us in the room with all the windows open. I finally snapped and ran to the window. Part of me didn’t wanna destroy her spirit, but most of me just wanted the noise to stop. I have PTSD and it’s literally caused me to punch walls and break things. Just as I was about to scream “Would you shut the fuck up? You suck!” the guy downstairs from me literally yelled out seconds before me “Is that you who’s doing all that singing? You’re terrible!” and I chimed in “you should really get some sound proofing or something because I have PTSD and the noises are driving me into a rage every day!” She apologized and said she’d shut the windows, but I can hear her all winter when both our windows are shut. I dunno if it’ll make a difference but she’s been driving me mad for years now. Every Spring, I used to look forward to opening all the windows, but now I have to keep them closed to drown out as much as it allows. I don’t wanna crush her spirit, but I’ve honestly had violent thoughts, not that I’d act on them. I’m not a violent person, but the fact that I even fantasize about it makes me feel awful about myself and is toxic for me to have that kind of rage, so it’s about time she had a rude awakening as to how bad it is for the rest of us. There are all kinds of musicians in my building who do all make noise, but hers goes on for hours and it’s so high pitched it feels like nails on a chalkboard.
Anyway, I’ve been busy editing the book some more and I think I’m gonna keep the cover I made. I may take one more stab at designing the same basic thing, but if it doesn’t look better, I’ll keep the one I have now, which was my second attempt after the first didn’t feel professional to me at all. The second one didn’t feel like it was that bad though. I liked it and was bummed others didn’t, but I mean, I don’t know what their interests are or what kind of books they like or anything about them, and my art is an acquired taste. Like a lot of great art, sometimes people have to see it over and over before it starts to resonate with them. I thought the idea was cool, to show the flawed and rigged system through the claw machine, and pictures of me pre and post transition showing my gender journey over the years. I wrote a post on my own Facebook after being shut down, and my friends encouraged me to keep the cover unless I wanna change it, because it was my vision and it goes well with the book. One person also mentioned that I’m likely to mostly just get my fans to read it if I self publish, and so they’ll be the ones who will want it and love it, and while it may not exactly attract the masses, the people who most relate and most need the book will probably be drawn to my cover. So, it really just depends on if I get it published through an agent and publisher who may have other thoughts on it, but one of the things I like about self publishing is having the control to make my own covers and choose my release dates and stuff like that, which are part of the whole presentation for me, even if others don’t even recognize it. I really wanna release this new book on my birthday this year, which is the 20 year anniversary of 9/11. It’s to the degree that while I obviously wanna be professionally published, part of me hopes I get to do it all myself again since it was fun for me the first time around…but I’ll definitely take an agent and professional publishing if I can get it. It’s just not looking likely right now.
I have a Pride Sale going on at my Threadless Store for 15% off until the 23rd
That’s a couple of the items. You can get them here…
I got an idea for a new book that would be mostly fiction, although based on a true story about my cross country trip to see the Pope at World Youth Day in 1993. It would be called “Good Catholic Kids”, and would be sort of like a classic 90’s teen story about a queer kid with mental illness, coming of age type thing. Ideally, I envision this one as a film, but I think I wanna write it as a book, in hopes of it becoming a film, since a book is easier to get out into the world than a screenplay. Plus, I have a lot of details I wanna put into the story that would be hard to include in film, especially if it were low budget, so I’m gonna make it a book, but it was this photo I recently hung in my kitchen which gave me the idea to write the story. this was at World Youth Day in a desert in Colorado. We had to walk seven miles to get there and there was a sea of people, as far as the eye could see in every direction.
Last but not least, I got this awesome record this month to reward myself for all my hard work and stress and everything. It is an incredibly rare record and a miracle I found an unopened copy for a price I could afford (although was pretty much the only thing I could buy this month) but the CD version changed my life in the early 2000’s when it introduced me to the Boston underground hip hop scene which is the best out there.
I will leave you with a few favorite songs from the album… I highly recommend you try them, even if you don’t like hip hop, but especially if you like really great quality underground hip hop with “conscious” lyrics
It’s been a busy few days. There’s been some stress over the possibility of Out Of the Blue Gallery losing our space at The Armory, and so I’ve been posting about it and yesterday I wrote letters to the mayor and the art council in Somerville to urge them to take a look at the new gallery and the time and effort put into it. I also mentioned how OOTB has helped me as a disabled person who otherwise had no access to the art world, and how far I’ve come in the last few years because of the gallery.
Today was my parents’ 45th wedding anniversary. They also have the same birthday…
I’ve been trying to set things up for when I put out my next book, including making a new LinkedIn and Twitter account. You can find all of my links here…
I also made new business cards with my web site on them
I was gonna use this image, but it would have been too small…
I didn’t get out for a walk to take photos as I hoped, but here is a photo of my cute cat…
and a photo of the chair with the canvas that I’ve been staring at for weeks, trying to figure out what to do with it…
Of course, as usual, I forgot to take a picture of the old painting before I painted over it. It was basically just the background. I added the hand and arm today, as well as a few minor editions to the background.
I’m calling it “Holding Onto My World”
I also recently decided to try the free app Duolingo to learn Spanish in memory of my good friend Randy who I recently lost to suicide, and he was big into taking online classes for all kinds of stuff, including many languages.
I’ve been practicing the keyboard, eating healthy, put some of my records that I wanna show Koda into chronological order, I met with my mental health worker yesterday and played the Igor album by Tyler the Creator for her on the record player because it’s one of her favorite albums and it’s one of the many albums that sounds a lot better on vinyl. She wanted to know what the difference was between vinyl and just listening to an mp3, so I wanted to show her, and now she wants a record player of course, haha.
Last but not least, I got some much needed sleep today and wasn’t even too grumpy.
I’m grateful for my day… Here’s a random video from the early days of Youtube that is still the first video to pop up on my YouTube page because I need to edit it, but it’s cool…
There’s been some stress the last few days, but I’m trying not to let it get to me and I’m being as assertive as possible to get my needs met. There’s a skill in DBT to help with communication and getting your needs met and stuff. There are two sides with similar charts; “asking” for something, and “saying no” to something. On both sides, you evaluate what’s most important, getting your needs met, keeping the relationship good, or feeling a sense of self respect. Depending on what your biggest objective is, this can can change how you ask or say no. Like, if you need a favor from someone and you mention it and they sound unsure… if your objective with that person is to keep the relationship good, and you can find someone else to help you, then you decrease the intensity of asking, but if they are the only person who can help and it’s something you really need, then you increase the intensity of asking. There’s a lot more to it. It involves charts and acronyms and all sorts of stuff, and it takes a lot of practice, but learning to use it effectively can really improve your interpersonal relationships. I found myself using it a lot today, and am grateful for it because I’ve had some challenging moments with people and handled most of it a lot better than most people would have in my position. I was proud of myself, but at the same time, I feel a little guilty about “increasing the intensity of asking”; especially with my mental health worker. She’s the best though and I’m grateful. I’m just feeling overwhelmed by all I do in the world for almost nothing in return.
This is a painting I sold at an art show 3 years ago. Here’s a few other photos from that day…
Tom Tipton: Founder of Out Of the Blue art Gallery
I’ve been doing these shows with the gallery for a few years now. This was when it was located in a house in Medford. Now they’re at the Armory in Somerville, but they need help. You can read about that here…
