got a bite on my book from a publisher but would have taken months to years so I decided to self publish again
found, created, and cooked new recipes
lost 50 pounds
visited with koda
went swimming
walked in the woods
went to Robin’s Farm Park to take photos
went to the graffiti spot a few times
created new digital art
sold a couple pictures and some stickers
participated in a spirituality group
practiced meditation
broke up with a sort of toxic boyfriend
better learned how I want to be treated
talked to a friend about maybe wanting to know them better
wrote a few songs and poems, including a poem about “The Godchild”
spoke up about mistreatment in a number of health care and housing situations
had my apartment inspected and rejected several times and dealt with the fear of having to move, which would have been a huge downgrade most likely if not homeless
visited my parents a few times
made many new friends
saw a few good movies and shows including “Ma Rainy’s Black Bottom”, “Kid90”, “Disclosure”, “Legend of Korra”, “Summer Of Soul”, “His Dark Materials”, “Cobra Kai”, “13th”, “Da 5 Bloods”, and now trying “Sweet Tooth”
tried all kinds of new delivery places I loved
learned to start wearing masks or face shields when i went places despite the anxiety attacks
got vaccinated
dealt with severe mental health symptoms and all kinds of extreme stress, daily triggers, and so on, and I am still here
started learning keyboard and got a little better at bass
This time last week, I was settling in with my boyfriend on our first night together in two years when he came to visit for 5 days. It was a great opportunity for me to take a break from the stress, socialize, get out, do some fun stuff, listen to some of my favorite albums, watch my favorite movies, and eat my favorite foods…and share them with him, of course. We had a blast. At first my transition back into the daily grind was off to a difficult start and I had a meltdown three days in a row, but the Universe sent me a little sign at the very least, if not some great news, that one of the publishers I sent a query to wants to take a look at my full book. I don’t know if I’ll go with them or not, if they even choose to go with me, but if they do, it will depend on a number of things. I wrote down all my questions tonight, just in case, but I don’t know what to expect. I’m just grateful I got a letter back that wasn’t a rejection. That’s a good sign I’m doing something right.
The rest of this post will be the manipulated photos from my staycation… I took and altered all of the photos, except for the ones of me in the water, which were taken by Koda but altered by me…
The Wicked Cliche Art Show, “Falling Apart, Breaking, And Putting Myself Back Together Through Art” was yesterday and it was a hit. We had a lot of fun and helped raise some money for Out Of the Blue Art Gallery/Parma Chai Gallery at The Armory in Somerville.
I’ve had an especially rough week, but the show made it worth the effort. Here are some photos
There were actually a bunch of other people there who I forgot to take pictures of, including my therapist who I actually haven’t seen in person in over a year, so that was nice.
And here’s a short video of my 25 pieces in the hallway…
I took this picture of my altar, which I’ve had since 1992
and I found these Menotomy Rocks…
I grabbed one as a gift for my sister’s 40th birthday and one for my boyfriend who’s visiting at the end of July, and I left the rest…
I’ve been doing some editing and I sent my book out to a few friends to look at and haven’t heard from any of them yet, so part of me is worried they think the book is terrible, but I’m pretty sure they’re just busy with other things.
Unfortunately it’s getting to be hot as fuck and will be for a few days, so here is a little music to chill too. The King of Emo..
If you are from Boston, you know that gentrification has closed down most of the art and music spaces in Boston even before the pandemic and almost nothing remains here for us now except for a few places including Out Of the Blue Gallery/ Parma Chai Gallery, which moved into The Armory in Somerville right around the beginning of the pandemic, and they’ve spent the year fixing up an ancient building that is an actual armory and small castle from the Revolutionary war. It’d been run down for decades and wasn’t until Out Of the Blue Gallery moved in there last year that it turned into such a remarkable, gorgeous gallery that is sure to add hugely to the Boston art culture once people get back into going out again. Out Of the Blue Gallery is accessible to real artists who may not have had the privilege of being born rich or going to art school, or even knowing the right people. The gallery took in starving artists for decades in its previous locations, and that is where I, a transgender, non-binary artist with Complex PTSD and Bipolar Disorder who spent 20 years in and out of psych wards and then ten more years in abusive relationships, managed to turn my life around. The gallery is extremely diverse, from the owner to every one of the artists, yet the fancy, rich, and mostly straight and white Somerville art people seem to be attempting to buy it out under us for themselves, in the name of “saving art”. I am not an expert on the subject, so you may wanna read about it in The Herald or follow the gallery on Facebook…
In other, related news, Out Of the Blue held a small, private showing of my May photography exhibit on Saturday and it was a lot of fun. A few close friends came and hung out in the new performance space they are in the middle of fixing up and preparing to hold events with live music again. Here are some of the pictures I took…
sometimes the masks end up upside downThe Armory, Somerville MA
Here is some info on my show, which is going on through June. It’s called “Falling Apart, Breaking, And Putting Myself Back Together Through Art”. The Armory is open to the public Monday-Saturday 9-6 and they even have a cafe in the building.
For music this time, I’ll put up a video that was taken at the Armory this past year, inside Out Of the Blue Gallery, of me rapping over Parma Chai. It was completely improvised and I’m still sort of a beginner, so there were parts that sound better than others, but it was pretty awesome and I’m hoping there will be more to come.
There’s been some stress the last few days, but I’m trying not to let it get to me and I’m being as assertive as possible to get my needs met. There’s a skill in DBT to help with communication and getting your needs met and stuff. There are two sides with similar charts; “asking” for something, and “saying no” to something. On both sides, you evaluate what’s most important, getting your needs met, keeping the relationship good, or feeling a sense of self respect. Depending on what your biggest objective is, this can can change how you ask or say no. Like, if you need a favor from someone and you mention it and they sound unsure… if your objective with that person is to keep the relationship good, and you can find someone else to help you, then you decrease the intensity of asking, but if they are the only person who can help and it’s something you really need, then you increase the intensity of asking. There’s a lot more to it. It involves charts and acronyms and all sorts of stuff, and it takes a lot of practice, but learning to use it effectively can really improve your interpersonal relationships. I found myself using it a lot today, and am grateful for it because I’ve had some challenging moments with people and handled most of it a lot better than most people would have in my position. I was proud of myself, but at the same time, I feel a little guilty about “increasing the intensity of asking”; especially with my mental health worker. She’s the best though and I’m grateful. I’m just feeling overwhelmed by all I do in the world for almost nothing in return.
This is a painting I sold at an art show 3 years ago. Here’s a few other photos from that day…
Tom Tipton: Founder of Out Of the Blue art Gallery
I’ve been doing these shows with the gallery for a few years now. This was when it was located in a house in Medford. Now they’re at the Armory in Somerville, but they need help. You can read about that here…
