Last night I posted a list of some of the things I achieved while I was 42, and it was an impressive list. I’ve been keeping lists of my achievements almost every year now for many years, whether around my birthday, the new year, or both, and I’m incredibly proud of myself as I watch my growth, in ways that matter more than how much money I make, which still isn’t really much of anything, but money has never been a goal except that I wish to be able to live at least as well as I do now, but independently. My life is no magnificent thing as it is, but if it were mine rather than being dependent on the government, that would make me happy… but even while I need help, I am still a person. I still matter. I still make huge waves in the universe with my contributions in many forms, and most of them are positive. I work very hard to be able to give back to the world in whatever ways I am able, because giving back is a priority for me…and I want to give back love and hope and joy and inspiration. I do not wish revenge, even for the people who hurt me most. I want to give back good to the world, in hope that I can be part of the revolution and help us work towards peace and a better world. I don’t know what that will look like. I have my doubts that peace on earth is even possible, but I work for the Universe and I do it in the name of peace and balance.
What can I do this coming year at age 43 to grow even more as a person? I have some ideas…
- daily meditation (to my best ability)
- get outside for air and a little walking (daily, but also to my best ability.)
- if I don’t get outside, I absolutely MUST meditate, even just for a couple minutes
- regular gratitude lists
- keep creating art, trying new things and trying to master old things… one thing I wanna work on especially is drawing hands.
- create at least one suite of tarot cards for Inktober….pot leaves, records, paint brushes, or microphones
- do a book signing and reading at the gallery
- do the craft show at my mental health center in December.
- get to my cousin’s wedding party for a family event
- redo The Godchild Part 1 and call it “My So Called Delusions: The Godchild”, “My So Called Delusions: The Mixtape Years”, and “My So Called Delusions: Becoming an Artist”
- publish “My so Called Delusions: The Godchild” around Easter
- get stress test
- start walking to the pharmacy to get my own meds again, and maybe walking to the pond, and making an event of it each time… even if I have to buy myself a little toy from the toy section or a candy bar. It’s only once or twice a month.
- get back to losing weight. After my med increase, I’ve gained weight for the first time in months, but I wanna turn that around and get under 200 pounds, or at least fit into my Skidz, which I only need to lose about 10-15 more pounds to fit into
- start seeing friends more… inviting people over and maybe even going out
- possibly work on new books “Moo, the Cat” and “Good Catholic Kids”
- get back to music in some major way, whether it be writing and performing more hip hop songs (even if I can’t do it live at first), learning a song on bass or keyboard, or learning to make beats. Ultimately, I’d love to perform my rap in front of an audience again, but we will see how that goes.
- start dancing and lifting weights again
- possibly get one of the many tattoos I’ve been putting off for a decade, if not something completely brand new… but maybe that brick wall I was gonna get as a sleeve with VERA in graffiti letters.
- stretch more often and maybe even try yoga
- do another art show
- attend art shows at the gallery
- go to reunion or get together with Beacon friends
- see the ocean
- have a friend or two come visit me from out of state
- watch some of my all time favorite movies to help inspire me for when I try to turn “Good Catholic Kids” into a screenplay
- get to know some new music, since I haven’t paid as much attention to new stuff the last couple years
- go experience live music
- walk in the woods in autumn
- add my own graffiti to the graffiti wall
- see family more
- finish reading the book I’m reading, and read at least a couple others. Seeing as I didn’t read any at age 42 except for my own, nearly 20 times and a few books about publishing. If I finish “On Writing” by Stephen King and read a couple others, I’ll be happy to start there.
- cook at least once or twice a week and keep up with cleaning!!!
