got a bite on my book from a publisher but would have taken months to years so I decided to self publish again
found, created, and cooked new recipes
lost 50 pounds
visited with koda
went swimming
walked in the woods
went to Robin’s Farm Park to take photos
went to the graffiti spot a few times
created new digital art
sold a couple pictures and some stickers
participated in a spirituality group
practiced meditation
broke up with a sort of toxic boyfriend
better learned how I want to be treated
talked to a friend about maybe wanting to know them better
wrote a few songs and poems, including a poem about “The Godchild”
spoke up about mistreatment in a number of health care and housing situations
had my apartment inspected and rejected several times and dealt with the fear of having to move, which would have been a huge downgrade most likely if not homeless
visited my parents a few times
made many new friends
saw a few good movies and shows including “Ma Rainy’s Black Bottom”, “Kid90”, “Disclosure”, “Legend of Korra”, “Summer Of Soul”, “His Dark Materials”, “Cobra Kai”, “13th”, “Da 5 Bloods”, and now trying “Sweet Tooth”
tried all kinds of new delivery places I loved
learned to start wearing masks or face shields when i went places despite the anxiety attacks
got vaccinated
dealt with severe mental health symptoms and all kinds of extreme stress, daily triggers, and so on, and I am still here
started learning keyboard and got a little better at bass
A few weeks ago, when my boyfriend was visiting, I played him one of my all-time favorite songs, in which I am one of, if not the only person who even has a copy of it anymore. He was madly in love with it, and how could he not be? I have great taste in music, and this is one of my favorite songs of all time, easily.
The artist is a local Boston folk singer named Pamela Means, who I saw perform it at a house concert in Arlington when I was about 21 years old, so that’s like, 1999/2000ish, and that is around the time the song came out.
I was in a photography class at Middlesex Community College when I went to the house concert, so I took some photos. I decided to do a little photo manipulation and upload the song to Youtube so that others can enjoy this beautiful song I can’t get enough of. Definitely check it out if you made it this far.
Pamela Means at a house concert in Arlington MA
This song is a personal anthem to me…
That’s a photo of the CD “Cobblestones” and my 8×10 photos in my old photography binder.
Here is one more random picture of my pin-up board in the kitchen, where I have a similar themed message “The truth is a virus,” which isn’t from Pamela Means, but my all-time favorite movie “Pump Up the Volume.”
Well, I heard back from the publishing company who wanted to read my book, and they said that 1. they can’t publish it as quickly as I hoped, so it wouldn’t work anyway…2. that in the future I probably shouldn’t try to rush a publisher (oops… but, of course I was only trying to be fair and tell them I was already planning to self publish and had already sent out press kits announcing it, so if I didn’t hear from them by the 20th, I would need to begin uploading to Amazon. I sent the query to them 5 months ago….but I get it, and knew it was a risk to attempt it) and 3. right now publishing companies almost exclusively only accept memoirs from subject matter experts, celebrities, and popular social media influencers. They did not end up even reading it, so no feedback on the actual book, but I’m proud of myself for getting the callback response from them. It is a sign that I am a good enough writer, with an interesting sounding book to get the attention of a publisher. Most never get this far, so I will take the achievement and move forward with the regularly scheduled programming…
I’m really not too upset that I’m gonna be self publishing again. A lot of people say it’s actually the best option for mildly successful authors who write the kind of books that speak to a certain type of people more than mainstream society. It’s not like a blockbuster film or summer reading…That kind of stuff does well with a publisher but indy type authors can get totally taken advantage of by publishing companies sometimes, and while I know the place I heard from was a legit small company, I don’t have a clue what going with them would look like, or if it would even be something I could make work. I already know how to self publish even though I’m planning to use my own ISBN’s this time and have to figure all that out, but I’m in control and I mostly know what I’m doing and what to expect, so it’s a lot less anxiety right now to just self publish anyway, and I can release when I said and not be like Kanye.
I’ve been doing a lot of editing, and tonight I made a video of myself reading a chapter from my book, about my first time in the psych ward, and I will post that in a couple days. One day at a time, one thing at a time, I am getting there.
Here’s a picture I took of my street art. It’s hot as fuck out there.
I have been taking photos of this graffiti spot for almost 15 years. It has changed quite a bit over the years… most notably from an abandoned illegal spot only a few people knew about, to a bike path going right through, where artists are now welcome to paint legally.
Sometime I should do a collection of the best photos I’ve taken there over the years. It’s gotta be over a thousand by now, easily… but here are some from when I went last week.
This time last week, I was settling in with my boyfriend on our first night together in two years when he came to visit for 5 days. It was a great opportunity for me to take a break from the stress, socialize, get out, do some fun stuff, listen to some of my favorite albums, watch my favorite movies, and eat my favorite foods…and share them with him, of course. We had a blast. At first my transition back into the daily grind was off to a difficult start and I had a meltdown three days in a row, but the Universe sent me a little sign at the very least, if not some great news, that one of the publishers I sent a query to wants to take a look at my full book. I don’t know if I’ll go with them or not, if they even choose to go with me, but if they do, it will depend on a number of things. I wrote down all my questions tonight, just in case, but I don’t know what to expect. I’m just grateful I got a letter back that wasn’t a rejection. That’s a good sign I’m doing something right.
The rest of this post will be the manipulated photos from my staycation… I took and altered all of the photos, except for the ones of me in the water, which were taken by Koda but altered by me…
Was my bedroom really wicked cliche’ or am I just saying that because it’s my name? I like to think it was fairly unique and individually expressive of who I was. I put a lot of time into decorating it, which is why I took pictures of it through the years. Similarly, I still take photos of my living space to this day, and in many ways, my apartment in 2021 resembles my 90’s bedroom. If you look carefully enough, you will even find many things from my old bedroom in my current home.
This first photo is the oldest. This was 1992 I think, my Freshman year of HS.
I wanted to post about Gift Of Gab, who died the other day. He was in the underground hip hop group Blackalicious, whose music helped spark my interest in hip hop, which is now my favorite genre of the last 20 years. I’ve always used Blackalicious music to convert my friends who think hip hop sucks into thinking it might be something they could actually appreciate if they knew where to find more real talent like it. You can’t listen to Gift Of Gab and say “Anyone could do that.” He was brilliant, and it was a sad day for me that even led to tears as I thought about how shitty it was that he was so underappreciated and that most of the world had no idea what a brilliant artist we lost. I didn’t see anyone except my friends from the Hip Hop Vinyl Spinners group even say anything about him that day. It’s sad, and he was young. It’s a major loss. I found him to be a Top 5 rapper. Without a doubt, one of the best… so I’m gonna share this photo of my Blackalicious record on my turntable and recommend a few songs to check out. RIP Gift Of Gab!
This first one is especially cool and one of their most well known, partly because Daniel Radcliff rapped it on Jimmy Fallon once, but Daniel Radcliff picked the song to impress.
This one samples the song “Me and My Arrow” from the animated film “The Point“, sung by Harry Nilsson.
and this is just one more I like…
I hope you took the time to watch these. Goodbye to one of my biggest influences.
The Wicked Cliche Art Show, “Falling Apart, Breaking, And Putting Myself Back Together Through Art” was yesterday and it was a hit. We had a lot of fun and helped raise some money for Out Of the Blue Art Gallery/Parma Chai Gallery at The Armory in Somerville.
I’ve had an especially rough week, but the show made it worth the effort. Here are some photos
There were actually a bunch of other people there who I forgot to take pictures of, including my therapist who I actually haven’t seen in person in over a year, so that was nice.
And here’s a short video of my 25 pieces in the hallway…
I took this picture of my altar, which I’ve had since 1992
and I found these Menotomy Rocks…
I grabbed one as a gift for my sister’s 40th birthday and one for my boyfriend who’s visiting at the end of July, and I left the rest…
I’ve been doing some editing and I sent my book out to a few friends to look at and haven’t heard from any of them yet, so part of me is worried they think the book is terrible, but I’m pretty sure they’re just busy with other things.
Unfortunately it’s getting to be hot as fuck and will be for a few days, so here is a little music to chill too. The King of Emo..
The days have been a challenge and I can only hope that means better times are on their way. I haven’t been my best self lately.
I went to the doctor on Thursday to get an EKG and some blood tests. There doesn’t seem to be any huge concerns other than my sugar being a little high, but they want me to come back soon and do a stress test in a couple months.
I stopped on the way home to mail about 40 press kits and drove by Spy Pond where the sun was sparkling on the water. I’m still struggling to get out. I really should have driven around or went for a walk to take pictures, but I’m struggling with agoraphobia and institutionalization after being kept indoors almost two of the last three years.
I took some photos when I was out, and when I got home, I found that the free editing program I’ve been using was no longer working on my phone. Technically the app went down in 2018, but it still worked on my phone until the other day. I asked for suggestions of good free photo editing apps and was told to try Snapseed and PicsArt, so I gave them a go.
These were the photos I took…
Jymi Cliche in a johnny
I thought that one was kind of cool with the grunge effect. It would make a cool book cover for a psych ward book.
That same day, my parents went to the beach and my mom sent me a picture of her wrapped in the towel I gave her for Mother’s Day from my Wicked Cliche Store.
I did some work on the Wicked Cliche Creative Friends page that features art by a very diverse group of artist from around the world who I call friends.
Please check that out.
I got a gift in the mail from my friend who makes soap. She’s listed last on the Creative Friends page under WickedSoftOrganics. This is the Trans flag one.
I listened to my favorite Nas album, God’s Son on vinyl.
and I cooked this delicious meal….
I cheated and got pre-made sour cream and chive mashed potatoes, but I made the chicken which had salt, pepper, and fresh thyme on it, and was cooked in a sauce made from honey, pineapple juice, Dijon mustard, garlic, and cornstarch, plus pineapple chunks and cashews. It was delicious and easy. I’ll do it again for sure.
Here’s an inspiring song from the God’s Son album by Nas…
Happy Juneteenth, if you can really say that. It seems more like it was made a holiday to shut people up while actual actions to fix systematic racism are not being taken.
